There's something about CHRISTmas...

The celebration of You, Jesus!

Like the white blanket that will soon cover us with snow, the entrance of You, Jesus! into the world covers us with the cleanness of Your righteousness

The entrance of You, Jesus! fills us with expectation and hope for Your Presence working in all our lives

How dark and oppressive do we as a people get at this time of year...when all You, Jesus! desire is for us to let You cup our faces in Your glorious Hands, and feel the Wonder of who You, Jesus! came to be to all of us on this most miraculous of Holydays.

All true joy is found when we at last look only to You, Jesus! for our sustenance, our daily bread, our solace, our completion, our purpose in life, our companionship, our worship.

I delight in You, Jesus! Stars and planets in the heaven and all living things here below yearn to give You Honor, and Glory, and Praise!!!!

Old Wineskins

I am watching my dog die.

It is painful to mourn things before they happen, but for some reason, God has me in this season right now.

I am mourning his death. I am mourning the imminent loss of several of my closest and dearest friends from church; they are not dying, but they are moving away. I am mourning the loss of dreams for an outreach to the hungry, to the destitute, to those that need Christ -- the death of a vision which now seems never to be going to come to pass. And now a big hole yawns before me...an unexpected chasm that only the Cross of Jesus Christ can navigate...

But wait, what's that the Holy Spirit is speaking?...

Even now, I am rejoicing at my continuing death -- the Surgeon's knife carefully carving this way and that until He finally begins to uncover His heart in me...I am rejoicing that somehow, someway, all this will lead to a fuller revelation of Him, both to myself and to others. I am rejoicing because death of anything that is in me means glorification of the Cross, in which I command my flesh to be solely glorified...I am here, Lord, do with me as You see fit! I will trust you, and rejoice in who You are!

Jeremiah 29

I was reading through Jeremiah 27-30 this morning, which tells of Jeremiah being sent to tell the Israelites that they were to go into captivity of the Babylonians, to not listen to false prophets to tell them not to go to Babylon, and then gives them the famous promise "For I know the plans I have for you, plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope"...Jeremiah 29:11

The Lord spoke to me several things while I was reading this:

1. The path of God's will is not the easy one, the obvious one, nor the closest one -- it is just the "right" one, and His blessings follow those that stay on the course...

2. "Do not let your prophets and your diviners ....deceive you, for it is a lie that they are prophesying to you in my name" I count myself blessed to be under an anointed ministry, but it is important to be careful who I allow to prophesy and speak words into my life; whoever magnifies my "self-life," rather than my Spirit Life in Christ, should be rejected as a false prophet. It is in Christ that I am victorious over every enemy of my soul; it is in Christ alone I have everlasting, effervescent, energetic, and exceedingly abundant life.

3. God did allow Israel to go into captivity, and He did say in Jeremiah 30, "I will discipline you in just measure," but then He gives them hope that after 70 years, they will return from captivity and be once again blessed. He goes to say that those that did not obey His Words that came through the true prophet Jeremiah would not be blessed, but instead under a curse.

4. The Lord spoke to me about starting to write all these things down, whatsoever He is speaking fresh to me each day, Jeremiah 30:1, "Write in a book all the Words that I have spoken to you." I struggled with obedience to this word --why? i don't know---laziness? fear of failing somehow? an inability to begin? not sure about that one yet, but I confess it to my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and know that He is faithful and just to forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness...praise God He's not finished with me yet :)

Embracing God's Ways

I had a discussion with a friend the other day about the estrangement of my father, and whether it has caused me a lot of pain.

To think and pray deeply about this has been my privilege for going on 5 years now. While I do feel pain when I have tried to call or otherwise reach out to my father, and he still will not talk with me, I have come to a better understanding of my own life in Christ because of this estrangement happening.

First of all, having battled with a spirit of rejection most of my life, I feel this particular trial has been tailor-made by God to wean me from my dependence on outward, visible signs of love from those people close to me. My heart has been, and continues to be, turned from the need for others, to the need for God alone to supply ALL my needs. There is such a freedom in finally knowing that God really does love me, really has always known me from my mother's womb, really does have all my best interests in heart. Such a freedom in finally believing these things in my heart...and not just in my head. Having this love in my heart, filling every crack and crevice of my being, frees me to love BECAUSE I am loved by my Creator, rather than in response to others.

Now, it is in the School of the Holy Spirit that I am learning to honor those who God tells us to honor, regardless of how they treat or mistreat you. I lay my tongue flat on the altar, (and sometimes feel the need to anchor it there), as well as any resentment or bitterness that may surface, and consider myself dead to all that is sin, and alive to the Christ in me. I honor my father, because he was a hard worker - working 3 jobs to make a home for us and feed the 3 of us plus his wife. I honor him because he perservered in working a shift-work job, even though his body never could sufficiently adjust to one schedule before having to switch to another schedule. He never quit, but retired with a good pension from that job.
I honor him, because he didn't leave us, as so many fathers do these days, and he spent time with us. Some of my fondest memories are sitting on his lap when I was a little girl, or holding his hand.

And, yes, I embrace the ways the Lord is using to mold me into His image. You might even say I hug to myself the very people who would try to pain me. My own image is flawed by sin and selfishness, but His image is so full of glory and light and love! Gazing on Him while allowing Him to change me into His image always bears the good fruits that He desires. I am learning to rest in Him; He is the ultimate Promise to me. All that He is is meat enough for my nourishment and not only Spirit-survival, but Spirit-flourishing, Spirit-health, Spirit-wholeness. To God be the Glory.

Not I but Christ

Like a weaned child is my soul within me, O Lord...
My soul is quieted and stilled within me.

You alone are my destination.
You alone are the source and aim of all my desires.
All else disappears,
Eclipsed by the Beauty of the Son.

It is in the quiet private place
Where we commune together
That no outside circumstance
Can disturb me

No other soul can
Touch Your peace in me.
You truly are
Everything I need for Life
and Godliness.

I fall like a little child
Into the big fluffy mattress
Of Your love,

Ahhhh....total comfort, total rest, total peace....

Eagle's Wings

A memorial for John and his family, and hopefully a catharsis for all who have lost someone close to them...

I Have Found the One My Heart Loves

Beyond the desire of the the things I see or feel or touch
The life and beauty of my Jesus sounds a clarion call
Beckoning once again to gaze upon the purity of a life lived for Love

I, without the Spirit of the Living God, could never aspire to any of this Love.

So it is with great abandonment that I fall at His feet in worship.
It is with humble submission that I lay the details of all I am at the Cross.
It is with full realization that His perfume is the only fragrance worth having.
And only in union with Him can I be His good and faithful servant.

He is the vine and I am but the branch
Without Him, I can do nothing.
With Him, all things are possible.

Only spending time with you Jesus can help me to bring forth more fruit......

For Valentine's Day :)

Real Life "Sleeping Beauty" Awakens from Coma after Husband's Kiss
by Aimee Herd : Jan 27, 2009 : Vanessa Allen – Daily Mail
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1127393/Husbands-kiss-woke-sleeping-beauty-wife-coma-heart-attack.html#
"Emma, if you can hear me, please just give me a kiss…"

(United Kingdom)—She wasn't surrounded by singing forest animals and seven dwarves, but this modern-day "Sleeping Beauty" was awakened by a kiss—from her "prince" of a husband. (Photo by: Brian Bould/Daily Mail)

About 10 days after giving birth via C-section to her son, Emma Ray was shopping with her husband Andrew, when she collapsed with a heart attack. Doctors were able to restart her heart; however, Emma had lapsed into a deep coma from which her physicians warned she might not emerge.

For two weeks, Andrew kept vigil at his wife's hospital bed, talking to her, holding her hand and playing recordings of songs from their wedding. He even played Emma recordings of their new baby "crying and gurgling," and their daughter singing and shouting "Wake up Mummy!"

Finally in desperation, Andrew leaned over his wife and pleaded, "Emma, if you can hear me, please just give me a kiss."

"What happened next was beyond my wildest dreams," Andrew recounts. "She turned her head towards mine, puckered up her lips and gave me a little kiss. I couldn't believe it. My heart felt like it was going to leap from my chest—it suddenly felt like a huge weight had been lifted."

Emma's sudden response was just the beginning of a long process of recovery and ongoing rehabilitation. But, two years later, Emma is home with her family and her husband is grateful.

"She can walk quite well holding hands now," says Andrew in the Daily Mail report. "At least our kids still have a mother and I still have a wife."

My New Year

Well, it has been quite a while since I had a chance to write anything here. The holidays were all a blur with our trip to Georgia and Bec home from England, visits from family and friends.

I made some decisions this new year. I don't like to use the word "resolutions," because there is some connection in my brain between resolutions, and things that usually don't get accomplished. Not that there is this same connection in everyone else's brain, but still I know it's there in mine.

My first decision: to start being the Christian Christ calls us to be, instead of spending so much time learning/thinking/talking about being a Christian. This includes in my mind more time reaching out to the truly needy--those who have no one else to reach out to them, and are unable to reach out to others. Less time with those who already are fat with the knowledge of Christ, and more time with those who have very little hope.

Another thing: Not forsaking praying, (seeking His face always comes first), but then moving out in action. Lighting the candle instead of cursing the darkness. Making it count. Being the voice for those who have no voice. Doing what others are unable to do for themselves.

And the last thing (for now): spending time with Christians who are more focused on others than themselves; people who have Christ in their hearts, and move out in that anointing; Christians who are looking for ways to make a difference in this world.

Our pastor is always saying, "be the Christian you have always wanted to meet"...I still agree with this...

it's just that "the Christians I have always wanted to meet" has now been redefined in my heart and mind....

and, I believe, looks alot more like the Jesus that I am coming to know more personally each day.