I recently saw a facebook entry about whether it is ok to lose respect for someone even though you have forgiven them. The comments that followed the post were many and varied...
I thought deeply about this when i read the post. I thought about how i was treating those in my life whom i claim to forgive. I found that I needed to define exactly what not respecting someone would look like in my life, so i looked up the opposite of respect:
disrepect
disregard
deny
(
http://www.wordhippo.com/)
In my own life, i struggle often with my relationship with my father...at what point in my forgiveness does it become right for me to disrepect, disregard, and deny him?
If I struggle with the beliefs of a false preacher, or someone who i believe is not walking out their faith, at what point is it Christlike to disrepect, disregard, or deny them?
I looked deep into my own heart, and realized that God had literally carved me...He had allowed me to travel to such a low place that I knew that I knew that I knew that my own worth and respect was not at all earned, but bought for me with a great price. Having traversed the valley of my sin completely and found no remedy in my flesh for any of it, it is no longer my righteousness that I count on. Thank God for the Holiness of the Lamb! Thank You Lord for Your Cleansing Blood! Thank You Jesus for your Infinite Mercy!
She who is forgiven much, loveth much. Selah.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2efP9eZrs5U
No matter what someone close to you does or does not do, that person is still loved by his/her Creator, and is of infinite value to Him. Because of the great mercy I know has been shown to me, I have no right to disrepect, disregard, or deny their value or worth. While my feelings may try to cause me to go in a different direction than the God-honoring response of loving them in Christ, I know so strongly in my spirit that I don't walk by feelings. I walk entirely by Grace, and by the Love of God shed abroad in my heart by the Holy Spirit.
I also know that I may be the very one that God will shine through for their next breakthrough. So I humble myself, and await His instructions as to best help the person He is calling me to forgive, and believe God for healing their heart...
A word of caution here: I do not believe that God wants us to include in forgiveness a lack of discernment -- to forgive someone does not mean that you do not use your discernment as to whether what they are saying/doing is in accordance with Truth. The Word tells us to speak the Truth in Love, and then to live at peace with everyone, as far as is possible with us. Sometimes this requires us to remove ourselves from situations that cause US to sin. I am not responsible for how the person I forgive reacts to my desire to walk in Truth and Love. I therefore release them to God for mercy, and yes, for justice (However, in the Word of God, we are given many examples of great men/women of God who cried out to God for mercy for their fellows...Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Jesus to name a few -- mercy triumphs over justice!)
I have run the gamut of emotions while forgiving different people in my life -- pain, self-pity, anger, discouragement, isolation -- but my biggest breakthrough was when the Lord said to me, Do you love me? and I said, Yes, Lord, you know I do, and He replied, Feed my sheep.
He knew all the emotions I was having, because He had been tempted in every way, just as we are -- yet was without sin. He flowed with the Life of the Spirit in every way, in every circumstance. I know this is setting the bar high, but He is the plumbline. He is the Standard, He is the High Calling of the redeemed. He is the One who has given us all things we need for Life and Godliness. And He is the one who
always -- in all ways -- causes us to triumph in Him.
